Ends
Goldfish Quarterly Review
A tank camera that sends a weekly performance report on your goldfish against its quarterly objectives.
€20,500
pledged of €10,000 goal
- Backers
- 410
- Funded
- 204%
- From
- €19
Backed by Wiebke L., Ines B. and 408 others
Recently backed
- Wiebke L. · Kiel ·
- Ines B. · Bilbao ·
- Tomoko A. · Sapporo ·
- Desmond A. · Dublin ·
Story
The camera clips to any tank and tracks the fish by colour, recording laps, depth, time near the surface and meals attended. Each Monday the owner receives a two-page report comparing the week against the objectives set at the start of the quarter, with a trend line and a short written summary.
The report
The report opens with the week's totals against the standing objectives, a trend line against the twelve weeks prior, and a short written summary in plain language. It prints to two pages regardless of how the week went.
Objectives
Default objectives are 900 laps per day and presence at every scheduled feeding. Objectives are set once at the start of the quarter and held fixed until the next one begins, so a slow week is measured against the quarter's own standard rather than adjusted to flatter it.
The quarterly review meeting
A review meeting is scheduled automatically on the first Monday of each new quarter. The fish attends by being in the tank; the report generated that week serves as the meeting's minutes. No attendance has yet been recorded as declined.
The prototype fish
The prototype fish, a three-year-old comet named in the setup wizard and not by the Inventor, closed the second quarter at 94% of its lap objective and 100% of its feeding objective. The Inventor's own read is that the lap objective was set too high in the first quarter and has left it unchanged regardless, on the grounds that changing it now would break the trend line.
Shipping
The camera and second camera ship worldwide. The weekly report on its own is a digital Reward and ships nowhere, for a household that already owns a compatible camera. The printed binder and desk nameplate ship with the next scheduled delivery; the second-fish tracking licence is a digital Add-on and ships nowhere.
| Tracking method | Colour recognition, up to 2 fish per tank |
|---|---|
| Metrics recorded | Laps, depth, surface time, meals attended |
| Report cadence | Weekly, every Monday |
| Default objectives | 900 laps/day; present at each feeding |
| Review meeting | Scheduled automatically each quarter |
| Mount | Suction clip, fits tanks 20–200 L |
| Battery | USB-C, 45 days per charge |
Stretch goals
- €15,000An annual summary comparing all four quarters(unlocked)
Rewards
Weekly report, existing camera
€19
The report service on its own, for a household that already owns a compatible camera.
- Digital, nothing ships
- Est. delivery Nov 2026
- 100 claimed
Camera
€39
One tank camera with suction clip, plus the weekly report service.
- Ships to Domestic, Europe, Rest of world
- Est. delivery Jan 2027
- 260 claimed
Second camera
€69
A second camera for a household running two tanks under separate objectives.
- Ships to Domestic, Europe, Rest of world
- Est. delivery Jan 2027
- 50 claimed
Add-ons
Add a Reward to your Cart first: Add-ons come with one.
- Printed quarterly binderA4 binder that collects each quarter's reports as they print.€12
- Second-fish tracking licenceExtends objective tracking to a second fish sharing the same tank as the first.€8
- Desk nameplateAn engraved nameplate carrying the fish's name and current objectives, for the desk nearest the tank.Sold out€15
Just support it
No Reward, only the satisfaction. With a Reward in your Cart, this adds to that Pledge as bonus support.
Updates
On the prototype fish's second quarter
Several backers have asked about the prototype fish closing its second quarter at 94% of its lap objective. We have reviewed the objective and left it unchanged, so the trend line stays comparable across quarters.
The annual summary is unlocked
Passing €15,000 unlocked the annual summary, a single page comparing all four quarters once a year has completed. Existing Pledges receive it automatically; nothing to change.
Funded on day six
We reached the goal six days in. Thank you. The annual summary stretch goal, comparing all four quarters on one page, is next.
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Comments
Does the objective reset if the fish is moved to a bigger tank mid-quarter?
No. Objectives hold for the whole quarter regardless of tank size. A larger tank tends to raise laps on its own.
Backed for the second camera. One tank runs an ambitious lap objective, the other does not.
Can the report be addressed to someone other than the account holder?
The report is addressed to the fish. It is emailed to the account holder.
What happens to the objective if the fish is unwell and laps drop for a week?
The week is recorded as it happened. The trend line shows the dip; the objective itself does not change.
Congratulations on the stretch goal. An annual view is exactly what we were missing.
Backed the second-fish licence. Our other fish has been off the record since we got it.
Is the nameplate engraving fixed to the fish's setup-wizard name, or can it be changed later?
Fixed when you pledge. A name change after engraving would need a new nameplate.
94% of a lap objective that was apparently set too high anyway is what got published.